I was listening to Russian songs when I write this entry. Eventhough there some lyrics that I couldn't understand, somehow it boost up my mood to write about something for today. But in English. Oh and by the way, my Russian accent is improving. *wink*
Okay, let's start shall we?
Earlier this morning my foster brother's message popped up through my WHATSAPP...
Him:
Me:
Woah, been trying to struggle for it everyday...
Him:
HAHAHA... don't need to.
Everyday right when you wake up from your sleep, just smile and say Alhamdulillah.
Go and try it.
It took me quite some minutes to contemplate his message and now I think I've found a way to understand it. First of all, have you ever heard of this quote saying...
Do you really understand what does this really means? Frankly, at first, I don't think that these two words are even relevant with each other and bring up necessity to our life impact. But THEN, after I went through a lot of troubles and all the unwanted events, I began to understand.
Along the way in my life, I started to learn the value of patience. Especially when I was a degree student in university for four years. I went through a lot of struggles all by myself. I walked all the way to classes and farms during practical classes because I had no transport at all besides bus. And then later at night I walked to Astaka Seni for dance practice which took 30 minutes from my college to the place. And the practice was held on every weekdays till after midnight at around 1 or 2 am, and then I walked back to the college, bathed and do some revision or assignments before I fell asleep. Even when I was sick and couldn't even get up from my bed, I still managed to walk to the health centre to get prescriptions. Everything and everywhere I go, and every burden I felt, it was me all alone. Everytime I reminisce all the hard times I went through, I feel so grateful and glad that I've gone through it all. In fact, I keep them as the sweetest memories I've ever had in my life and I could never let them go.
There was this one time I made a mistake which accidentally caused a huge trouble to my friend and she scolded me, screamed and shouted at my face and said she hated me and didn't even wanted to see my face again. But in the end during practical, she always came to my house and my mom always cooked for them. i had a few arguments with my mom because she knew that I was having a huge fight with my friend and that she wasn't willingly to allow her to come to our house and join us for dinner. But then I took the courage to forgive her though it was really painful and I even felt more delighted and honored to have her with us for our dinner. And later, till now, we became close friends.
I had some friends who talked and made up stories behind my back... Saying I'm a bitch because I had a lot of guy friends...Some said I'm a lesbian because I never had a boyfriend but all of which were not true at all. But I still have the courage to smile when I meet them.
There were actually more events that I went through that had caused me a lot of pain, madness, anger, rage, and all that somewhat. And I bet there are some people out there who had even worse experience than mine. But tell you what, everytime I go through it, I always train myself to be patient. Some people said that patience has its own limit. To me, there isn't any. In my opinion, there is no limit in one's patience. The thing that makes you burst out your anger after a long time you've been holding your patience is because you were actually keeping your vengeance and you refused to let go all the bad memories and accept it willingly. Patience is about trying to accept the flaws, live with it peacefully, try to forgive it and be grateful because it happened to make you become wiser. And then you move on. That's it. You don't keep any thoughts in your mind such as, "it's okay. Just make sure you don't do it again or you'll be a dead meat." No no. A huge NO.
I always practice this one thing that whenever I'm having a trouble and I almost lose my patience, I just sit down and remember Allah, feel Him in my heart, recite ayatul Kursi and plenty of salawat, and a few moments later, my patience has just been upgraded! Just somehow I feel more calm and happier. I even managed to smile while I was facing it. Isn't that amazing? I always persuade myself to forgive whenever anyone hurt me and try to understand why are they behaving like that. It is not easy to understand people. But if we choose to become considerate and try to understand people, we may have the chance to upgrade our patience and become an optimist. Besides, it helps us to be grateful that it happened because we gained a lesson and literally we had nothing to lose. And that's how patience works to enhance our attitude and self-respect.
However, eventhough I managed to forgive, there are some memories that I refused to forget. Not because I wanted to remark the person or the event as something bad or somewhat, but because I wanted to keep it as my personal important lessons so that I won't repeat the same mistakes again. And that, by living in such way, patience has become not just my virtue, but also my key to freedom. Indeed it is. By letting all the bad feelings about your past, your heart feels much lighter to fly higher and reach your dreams. That's why you need patience in order to be success. Success is the highest stage of ultimatum in everyone's dream.
So now you see how patience can give such a huge impact to you and your life?
If you still can't keep it, at least try to be as cool as this cute thang
TEHEEHEE! Okbye
Till next time
~Live Life Cool~
